Chapter Three- The Geriatric Brigade

*Sigh* Another day. A few things have happened to me since I last checked in. 

 I read in the paper that Brittney Ursine had yet ANOTHER baby! Geez, what is she trying to be? The next Octo-mom?

 I got a job.

 And.... quit. When I won the "Motherlode Lottery". So now I'm rich. Hehehe....

 Met this weird dude. Seriously? A cheetah print guitar. That's cute.

 Her friend had just died. I mean, sure, be sad and all... but can't you do it in private so I don't have to listen to your sniveling? It's annoying...

 Hahahahaha. This is Brittney Ursine's husband! He looks like a gorilla. I think his name was Jasper. I guess even the beauty-challenged people deserve some love. Hopefully his kids look nothing like him.

I've had something really big happen to... I've started seeing someone. No, it isn't Rocco. It turns out that he is in a relationship. With another man. So I don't think I'm quite his type. Maybe we can just be shopping partners instead.

 No. It wasn't this guy. *giggles* Had you scared, didn't I?

 Nope...Not him either.

 Yep, it's this guy. Recognize him? Ethan Bunch. We went on a few dates before we really started anything, but then tragedy struck... at least for me.

 He got old! He came over one day, and I was so upset...I wasn't really sure what to do. I wanted to get to know him better to see if I should stay with him. I found out that there are 57,890 reasons to keep dating him, and it's all in cash...

So rubbing out the pain in his shoulders and neck from his over-night arthritis is worth some of my time.

 "Ethan... I think it's time to take our relationship a little bit further.
        "What do you mean, Joanie?"
"Let me show you..." *leans in slowly*

 *Smooch*

 "Wow, Joanie... that was amazing. I wasn't sure how you would feel since I've gotten older."
          "It just means that you've gained some experience. But if you want to look younger, you totally could change your clothes, dye you hair... find some life fruit..."
"I'm just glad you like me the way I am."

 "I guess I can still get these youngins..." *Suave look to the side*

 *sigh* "Oh, yes... we just love older men."

 "I'm really starting to like you, Joanie..."

 "I'm thinking we should take things one step further..."

 "Ethan, I'm not really sure about this... Do you really want to?"
            "If you're not sure, then we can do this later."
"Oh yeah, later totally works for me..."

 He wound up spending the night, and thanked me for being honest with him. *Barf...* I can't believe he thinks someone like me could ever actually like him. He's so full of himself...

When he left, I decided that since I won the "Motherlode Lottery", I would redecorate the place.

 I started with the kitchen. I don't cook much, but I plan on having a party soon and I didn't want it to look like I didn't know how to cook.

I did the bathroom as well, but I'm probably gonna wind up changing it. I don't like the plain colors, but the bathroom isn't too important, in my opinion.

I'm in love with the living room. I didn't change any of the furniture, just the colors. Added a few curtains, a lamp or two, and viola! Instant living room makeover.

(To see the original pictures of the house, please see chapter one.)

Well, that's all that happened to me in the past week. I'm kinda hoping that this "thing" with Ethan doesn't last too long... He's nice and rich and everything, but some things just aren't meant to be forever. Wish Rocco played for my team...